1. Make her feel secure. Allow her to feel the sakeena.
2. Greet her with “As-salaamu-alaikum wa rahmatullah” – this will keep the shaytan out of your home
3. Know your wife is a fragile whistle – take care of this whistle (i.e. treat her in a gentle way)
4. Advise her in privacy and during a loving, romantic and/or peaceful atmosphere
5. Be generous to your wife
6. Give her your space/seat
7. Avoid anger – one way is to keep wudhu at all times, another is to sit down or lie down when angry
8. Looking good, smelling great
9. Don’t be rigid or you maybe broken – be good and be flexible
10. Be a good listener
11. Say Yes to flattery, No to arguments
12. Call your wife with the best of names
13. Give her pleasant surprises
14. Preserve the tongue (i.e. don’t say abusive words since some words take years to wipe out)
15. Accept her shortcomings
16. Show her that you appreciate her
17. Encourage her to keep her kin relationships, especially with her mother and father
18. Pick topics of interest to her during conversations
19. Show that she is a wonderful wife in front of her relatives (and friends)
20. Give her gifts all the time
21. Get rid of the “rust” (routine of life) once in a while
22. Think good of your wife
23. Overlook any small words or actions that you did not like (i.e. don’t save them in your memory)
24. Add a drop of patience every day. Increase this patience during pregnancy and her monthly cycle
25. Expect and respect her jealousy
26. Be humble – know that her success at home is your success
27. Don’t make your friends happy at the cost of your wife’s happiness
28. Help with housework
29. Don’t try to force your wife to love your mother. Help her to respect your mother and father and gradually the love will come
30. Make her feel that she is an ‘ideal’ wife
31. Remember your wife in your du’a
32. Leave the past to Allah (SWT) i.e. don’t dig up past issues
33. Don’t show that you are doing a favour when you do something (e.g. bring food home etc.). Know that Allah (SWT) is the provider and your are only a courier
34. Treat the Shaytan (and not your wife) as your enemy. e.g. when an argument breaks out know that present is you, your wife and shaytan.
35. Feed your wife with your hands – this is a blessing
36. Look at your wife as a “precious pearl” – so protect her from the envy of the shayateen
37. Show her your “pearls” (smiles) – smiling is like giving in charity
38. Deal with the little things/problems immediately before they become big issues
39. Dont’t be hard or harsh-hearted
40. Respect her thinking and thought
41. Help her to dig within herself to find success
42. Respect the boundaries of the intimate relationship
43. Help her take care of your children
44. Give her the gifts of the tongue
45. Sit down and eat meals together with your wife
46. Let her know when you are travelling and the date and time you are coming back (i.e. no surprises)
47. Don’t leave your home to avoid an argument
48. Protect the secrecy and privacy of your home – don’t share it with others
49. Encourage each other in worshiping Allah (SWT) – e.g. prayers, attend lectures, plan to go on hajj or umrah trip together
50. Know her rights and treat them as something that are engraved in your heart and conscious
51. Live with them with kindness – treat your wife with goodness in prosperity and adversity
52. “Send a messenger” before any intimite relationship (i.e. kissing and sweet words)
53. Don’t share your family problems with others (except when seeking genuine islamic advice)
54. Show that you care for her health
55. Know that you have shortcomings and are not always right
56. Share your happiness and sadness with your wife
57. Have mercy on her weakness
58. Be the “comfortable chest” for her and allow her to lean on you
59. Accept her “as-is”
60. Have a good intention (niyaah) for your wife at all the time.
